why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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