Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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