Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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