i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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