did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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