We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
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Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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