Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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