If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
