its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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