The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
