she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
