For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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