Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
