I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
