...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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