This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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