She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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