i think my tv is drunk
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize