I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
