How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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