The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
