Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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