I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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