I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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