discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
did i just pee glitter
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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