he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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