CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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