they need to just BURY HIM!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
