I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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