There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
