Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
