sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
