Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
