so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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