we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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