Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
