Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
