so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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