I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
