it was like his penis was on wheels.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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