would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
