Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
