I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dating After Heartbreak
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found your dick twin last night
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf