I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?