I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.