I can't watch pbs sober anymore
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.