Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night