Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
