No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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