Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
