The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
