now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
