Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Quick, to the slutcave!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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