That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
