AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
