he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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