even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
