i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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