if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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