im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
