found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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