My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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