she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so let's talk penis.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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