So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
